How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
