I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
