I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
