I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i black out too much to be "responsible"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
