do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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