At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
