and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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