dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
