U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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