This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
