it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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