On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
