ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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