Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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