No stitches, just platelets and will power
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
