ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
