she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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