She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
