I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
