don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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