So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
