Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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