i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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