A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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