Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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