I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
