thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
