Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
