i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
