I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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