Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
