I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
