This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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