Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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