So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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