Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
