ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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