hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
