"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
