when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I need to calm my uterus...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
