I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
