someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
