he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
