Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
