Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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