dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
