Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
