I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
