it was like his penis was on wheels.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
