I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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