The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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